If you are currently in a relationship or you are just dating around to find the one, being clingy is something that some people struggle with. If you are overly needy, you can ruin your relationship fast.
Being clingy and overly needy can make a man run the opposite way. This kind of behavior can be a turn off and can cause him to question your confidence.
When you are too needy, it means that you have a hard time with your self-esteem, and it can cause you to do behaviors that ruin a relationship fast.
Being too clingy tells the person that you are with that you need them to reassure you constantly. This kind of behavior will put too much pressure on him, and he will more than likely leave you.
Maybe you are thinking about how needy you have been and how desperate that you have acted and if you are in that boat, there are some ways that you can learn to stop being this way and to have a healthy and fun relationship.
It is important to understand what neediness is and why you exhibit this kind of behavior.
Signs of Being Too Clingy
When you feel that you are always needing attention and when you have a lack of confidence in yourself, it can cause you to feel anxious and stressed, no matter how much attention he gives you.
No matter what he says or does, you find that you are still anxious and worried that you are not enough for him.
Here are some signs that you are too clingy:
- You always call him first.
- You don’t give him his own time.
- He never has any space from you.
- You worry when he leaves you.
- You need him to always reassure you.
- You change who you are to be with him.
- You feel that you are only worthy if you are in a relationship.
- You feel insecure when he has female friends.
- You want to control him.
If you have any of these behaviors, then chances are that you are insecure and that you are suffering from am fear of attachment. This can happen because of trauma in your childhood or because of romantic relationships that have failed in the past.
You have to learn to overcome these negative thoughts and feelings in order to become more secure and to figure out where these feelings come from.
If you want to have a good relationship, you need to find a way to feel secure in who you are and in what you do.
How to Stop Being So Clingy
Once you realize you are being clingy, you need to work to change this behavior.
Figure Out What You Are Afraid of
The first thing that you need to do is find out why you are fearful. What has caused you to feel that you are going to be left and going to be disappointed in life?
The reason that you will chase after someone is because you are afraid that they will leave you if you don’t. Having abandonment issues happen because of deep seated wounds in our life from our past.
If you have lost someone that you love, your relationship can be trying because it can cause you to want to attach to people in an unhealthy way.
When you do this in your romantic relationships, you do not realize that deep down, you don’t feel that you are good enough and your behaviors exhibit these things.
When you do something out of fear, it causes you to have more anxiety and stress and can cause the relationship to not be healthy.
Coping
Find a way to cope with your feelings. If you are always feeling stressed in your relationship, you have to find a way to stop feeling this way.
Learn to feel secure in yourself and learn to see things differently. Here are some things you can do:
- Pay attention when you have a feeling that you want to control him.
- Find out what you need to feel safe.
- Find a way to meet the needs you are missing.
Maybe you find that you are anxious when he doesn’t call you right away or when he hangs out with someone else.
Learn to manage these feelings and to be in control of your life.
Change Your Mindset
One thing that you can do is to change your mindset. Instead of calling your boyfriend or texting him repeatedly, give him a chance to text you back.
Stop wondering the “what ifs” and learn to just accept that he is busy at the moment. Be aware of your insecure feelings and change the way that you are thinking about things.
By doing this, you can make your relationship better and not make him want to run away from you. Once you figure out what you are afraid of, you can start moving to a healthy life without so much clinginess and neediness in your relationship.