Intimate relationships are the ones that can truly enrich our lives. When you are with someone in a romantic capacity, it can be exhilarating. This is because you connect on such a deep emotional level. You may be familiar with the term soulmate which is an intense, powerful bond that exists between two people. It is knowing someone so deeply that it feels like you can almost read their mind. When you feel that deeply, it is due to heightened intimacy. You feel so attached you can connect on a nonverbal level and communicate your wants and needs. This is the idea behind soulmates.
What Makes a Soulmate
Soulmate connections are special. When you feel you have met your soulmate, it is like your life purpose has been discovered. A soulmate is someone you are very comfortable with and quickly discover how many things in your lives overlap. Humans are social creatures by nature which is what drives us to look for this type of connection. When we feel a strong attraction to someone, we may wonder if it is a soulmate or twin flame. This is not often clear until after the honeymoon period is over, but a few signs are listed below to help you figure it out.
One big sign is compatibility. Online dating sites are common places to meet people today and these sites are all about finding a compatible partner that you could potentially spend your life with. This can be effective on some fronts. You may be able to discover people with common interest to start a relationship, but there are more avenues to explore in finding a soulmate. Technically speaking, you can find compatibility with anyone. It may start as common interests and grow or you could be total opposites on paper and end up highly compatible. The point is, you need to take time to really get to know someone before making a lasting decision. You want to find a soulmate you have deep compatibility with and this comes down to how you interact with one another. You need to know that your wants and needs are considered and that boundaries are respected and will continue to be. A relationship is evaluated based on intimacy and communication.
Theories on Compatibility
There is a of couple theories about strong, intimate relationships. One of these is the Sound Relationship House Theory. This is explained by envisioning a house. The sides are meant to hold the house together and these are made of trust and commitment. The first level of the house is made up of love maps. This is how you decide how well you know your partner and their inner workings, how they think about the world, what they worry about, and where they find joy. Next comes shared fondness and admiration. This is the affection and respect you show to one another as a couple. The third and fourth levels are tied together, turning toward instead of away and a positive perspective. This is the idea that the couple needs to talk to each other about needs and help the other meet their needs while focusing on the positives in the relationship and mending any issues that arise. Then together, they can manage conflict, make dreams come true together, and create a shared meaning. This all requires a foundation of trust and commitment.
A second theory is the Gottman theory that focuses on the following to ensure that your intimate relationship exists on a fundamental, intricate level. This starts with the idea that soulmates are in it for the long-term, unless abuse is present in which case the relationship should end immediately. While some conflict will exist, this helps us grow as individuals and a couple as it is resolved. This theory also reminds people that soulmates are not always romantic. It is okay to have a soulmate as a close friend instead of a romantic partner. A type of intimacy still exists, just in a different manner. The theory also points out that if you do not want to search for a soulmate, that is fine too. We all need to learn to be okay with being on our own. In fact, being okay alone is when soulmates are most likely to appear.
If you are in a relationship, soulmate or not, and need help, seek therapy. Sometimes we need an outside perspective to work through things and this is fine. Find someone who is willing to work with you individually and as a couple to help determine the best course of action.