If you are new to the world of non-monogamy, then you may not be familiar with the phrase “looking for a unicorn.” This phrase means you and your partner are interested in a fun night that includes a threesome with someone open to the experience. This can be a fun-filled evening, but may also be highly intense when it comes to actually starting to find just the right person. It is a new world that comes with mixed feelings of fear, concern, excitement, and intrigue. Even if it is your first time, if you have done your research and been open and honest with your partner, then things should go well. Below you will find some tips for unicorn hunting.
The first thing is to determine what your unicorn is for overall. If this a one-night thing, a wait and see thing, or the hopes of dating a unicorn. This is tough because the more people that become involved in a relationship, the more needs, and opinions each person has overall. Your third is human, so they are not someone you can use and toss aside. They too must leave satisfied, so make sure you are following the tips below to keep things running smoothly.
Before the Search
Before even starting to look for your unicorn, take time to openly discuss things with your partner. There are details to be ironed out. Before a unicorn can be introduced, you must have a strong base relationship.
Know What You Want
The idea of a threesome is exciting, but you need to put aside fantasy for reality and make sure this is what you want. If you are certain, make sure your partner feels the same without any doubts. If you are pushing your partner into it, then things will go south quickly. If your partner wants it as well, then move forward with the unicorn hunting process and threesome. If either of you are uncomfortable, then serious issues will arise. Even if you do go through with things, have a plan for what happens if one partner gets jealous. This will likely occur. When it does, be willing to stop and explore the feelings. If any of these situations arise, stop, and hold off on unicorn hunting because you are not yet ready.
One Night or Polyamorous
Agree on what you want, something for a night or a long-term relationship. Either way, you need to both agree before finding the right unicorn. This also helps you choose a unicorn who is up for the same.
Starting the Hunt
Always be clear what you want when searching for your unicorn. There is no need to be subtle. If you are using a dating app, mark gender as couple or set your relationship as couple. When sharing pictures, make sure both of you are included. In the bio section, keep things clear and honest. Mention the type of relationship you desire and what you are looking for overall. If you do meet a unicorn in person, be very specific and detailed about what you are looking for. Mention all details and expect the unicorn to either agree or disagree. Before setting a time and place, make sure the needs of the couple and unicorn align. If not, this will be a problem when the fun begins. Everyone needs to have the same goals in mind or the night will end in problems and leave someone unsatisfied. Remember, it is about pleasing all three people and if that does not work out ahead of time, then the unicorn may be wrong for you. When possible, meet ahead of time to get a vibe between all of you. This is better than meeting right before the night of fun. Doing all this will help you find the perfect unicorn to meet your needs.