Those who live next to couples that fight a lot but talk less, they are not breaking up anytime soon. That is an indication of a healthy relationship. They are not sick.
Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute says that fighting is an indication of a strong relationship and not a weak one it just depends on how you’re fighting.
According to Gottman, there are three main styles:
- Those who need to be comfortable with one another sit down and compromise.
- Those who desire to be listened to and understood by the other person.
- Those who are not interested in problem-solving.
The first approach usually ends in compromise and peace although it involves a lot of screaming and walking up and down in every corner of the house. This always results in a stronger relationship but getting through it is not easy and is very painful.
The second approach is about a calm partner. The fight is not beneficial in any way and they prefer not to listen. Fighting doesn’t interest them, more so screaming.
This third approach is the worst. Couples who don’t fight. Others might think they have the perfect relationship ever not knowing it’s the opposite. Through a good fight, you can withstand pain and solve a problem rather than walking away. Fighting is a sign of true love.
FIGHTING MEANS YOU CARE
Rather than walking away, it is advisable to fight since it means you care. You are trying to solve a problem and that will make you stronger.
When you fight you are trying to show your partner there is a problem that needs attention and communication.
According to Dana Ward, fighting is normal as long as it fulfills its purpose. Some individuals think it’s an indication of an unhealthy relationship.
FIGHTING MEANS KEEPING EACH OTHER HEALTHY AND SANE
Women who find it hard expressing how they feel and hold onto anger are likely to die early than those who express themselves. People who express anger when they are unjustly attacked are likely to live longer than those who solve issues fairly. Fight for your relationship if you love your partner and care for them.
FIGHTING MEANS YOU ARE HONEST
It is only during a fight that you can let out your true feelings. That is the time the real you comes out, from your behaviors to values. Such kind of truths can only come out when you’re involved in a heated discussion. Without these fights, you will be unable to know the values that your partner holds. Therefore you need to test them up for you to be aware if your partner is really worth fighting for.
FIGHTING MEANS GREAT SEX
We have all encountered makeup sex after a fight. There’s no better way to cool yourselves than having great sex.
This finding has however not been proved and was not saying that you need to fight. But if any case you fight then you should use makeup sex as a consolation.