Unconditional Love and Healthy Relationships

Unconditional Love and Healthy Relationships

Unconditional love is something that is strong.  Everyone would like to be in love and to have someone to love us without there being any conditions, but the truth is that this love is hard and almost impossible to actually have.

Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is what a parent and a child have for each other.  This is when a mother will love her child and there will be no lack.  The problem with this word is that people do not understand it and they think that this means just loving someone and that is not true.

Love that is the most pure and full of happiness is unconditional love and it is love that is similar to a maternal love.  This is a love that gives without getting anything in return.

Romantic Love

Many adults wonder if they can have love that is unconditional with a partner.  They want to feel that they will never be left or mistreated and so they will commit to their relationship.  They want to find someone that will love them unconditionally.

The problem with unconditional love in a romantic relationship is that there are reasons that someone would want to break up with another person such as if they were a cheater or a liar.  If someone was abusive or if they were an alcoholic or a drug addict, then having unconditional love would be hard.

Love would have to be an attitude that you would agree to put up with that person no matter what they did and however they treat you.

Unconditional Positive Regard

Instead of unconditional love, unconditional positive regard is probably closer to what people feel in a romantic relationship.  They will see their needs and make sure that they person that they are with gets their needs met.

This is a good type of love where there is love and respect and where there are boundaries that protect both people from hurt and pain.  This is kind of like unconditional love but if there is no respect then the love can end.

This means that you are giving all of your attention to them but if they do not follow the boundaries that you make then it means you can leave them and not be harmed.

This also does not mean that you have to compromise your life and your situation and that you have to let people do things to you that you don’t want.  This is an outcome that is best for both of you and not just for one person.

Having Unconditional Love

If you want to think about loving someone unconditionally, here are some things you have to practice:

  • Communicating with each other.
  • Meeting each other’s needs.
  • Being kind and not defensive.
  • Listening
  • Paying attention to their feelings.
  • Not getting annoyed with small things.
  • Seeing past your fights.
  • Loving beyond anger.
  • Sharing the power in the relationship.
  • Not being resentful.

Broken Relationships

We have a life where we have conditional love.  We love them because they have good traits and because they are cute, and they do things that make us happy.  We also have conditions on how much love we give.

When we are mature, we love without strings, but behavior still plays a role in how we act in the relationship.  If we want to have unconditional love, it should come from how you feel about the other person and not what you will get.

When you think about unconditional love, it means being selfless and kind and loving.  A new couple would have a harder time with unconditional love because when the honeymoon phase is over it can cause the relationship to have hurtful times.  Having unconditional love means that you let those fights go and you stay happy.

Unconditional love is based on completely accepting someone and not abusing them or hurting them.  There are areas that make it okay to fall out of love with someone but with unconditional love, you are to stay together until these happen and then end the relationship easily.

When you first fall in love, you are in an unconditional love state and you cannot imagine that you would ever live without this person.  The truth is though, we live in a world full of conditions and relationships do end.  They become different and they change over time.

One thing for sure though, relationships that do not have unconditional love will be more likely to succeed because as lifestyles and ideas change, so with the relationship.  You will allow yourself and your partner to change and this can be better for both of you.


You can be what your partner wants without offering unconditional love, but you can be mature about love.  You can be mindful and caring of them and you can learn to meditate and to practice meeting your relationship needs.

You can learn how to show yourself unconditional love that you want to show your partner and if you don’t love yourself then you will not be able to love them.

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